On Saturday night I honored the gods and celebrated the second of the three Spring festivals. I found the whole thing to be a lot more calming then it had a year ago. Ostara turned out to be the first Sabbath that I celebrated after my mother's death. Back then I really couldn't focus on the growth and renewal that Ostara was supposed to be. To me Ostara still had a death feeling to it. In-fact all the Sabbaths that came after Ostara had a death feel to it.
This time, however, I could focus on the growth and renewal aspect of it. I could enjoy the peace, the feeling of connection, and the feeling that I was moving on. I even got fun candles to make things feel even more wonderful and exciting. I enjoyed the Sabbath and I petitioned a request to approach my job with even more appreciation and understanding those in-front of me when I take orders. So far, that has been working. Now I'm turning my focus onto Beltane and we'll see what happens.